Dear Sister Annalize,

I would like to great you in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. I am still doing fine and it is through the will of God that I am still alive at this moment and I hope to God that everything is fine with you as well.

Sister Annalize, it is truly such an encouragement to read your letter. I am so glad to have someone like you who cares about who we are and who doesn’t judge what we have done outside. I really thank you for that and I pray God will give you power and strength on this path you choose. I wish I could be like you.

I always know that I still have much to learn about Jesus. He lets me grow and learn step by step. I learn to love Him and then go back to the Bible again and again to progress by reflecting, doing, loving and dying to myself and becoming more and more alive unto Jesus. Then I will handle more of what He has to teach me. He is with me everyday.

Whether I am happy or sad, busy or quiet, well or ill, working or idle, angry or overflowing with joy — He is still with me. When I make mistakes or when I am successful, when I move forward or slip back, when I am on top of the world or my world is falling in all around me — He is still there in it. I don’t worry if there are spiritual things I have not yet mastered. I’m happy I can be sure of the things I know about. No one can get it all at once. I pray for the Spirit to come and lead me on from where I am.

I look forward to the next step, the next truth, the next discovery and the possibility of future growth in the things of God. I get what I can and move on. I am not fazed by others who seem to be far ahead. I take one step at a time.

God designed life so that it would not be a bed of roses. By working at it I will overcome trouble, then I will work through it, break it down into smaller bits if I can. I then bring it to God in prayer. I ask for courage to tackle it. I would get help from others who know more about it than I do. So in the end I soldier on.

I am not surprised when I have downs in my faith, it is good to have the mountain tops of joy, vision and hope but tough times are around the corner. But I am ready for them, I am not diverted by them. If my faith takes a nose dive for some reason I am prepared to soar on the top of the mountain again. There are few joys as beautiful as those that come either at the end of suffering or as a consequence of it. It is not that joy that will take the place of the sorrow, but sorrow itself becomes the joy.

The Christian joy and hope do not arise from ignoring of the evil in the world, but by facing it at its worst. I find the joy that Christ offers me from the sorrow of Calvary. I find God meets me in my deepest sorrow. I rejoice in Him as He touches me and makes me whole. I don’t expect a pleasant and easy time as a disciple of Jesus. I know many will laugh and sneer at me. Friends I once had will desert me. Some will try to undermine whatever good I do. Even friends in the church may see me as a rival and be jealous of me. Some will try to annoy me and catch me out. And some will just think I have gone bonkers. I will never be surprised because I have been warned.

I don’t let people confuse me with arguments about three not being one or one not being three. They all work together all the time without being confused. Out of love for me and in order to bring God the glory. So I pray to the Father, I accept the Son’s love and let the Spirit bring about the love of Christ in me.

So sister, I will ask you to read what I have written very carefully and please write to tell me if you understood it.

I need knowledge about a Christian walk. I have six months left to go until I go outside. I don’t know if we can still correspond when I am outside because I don’t want to lose my faith, so if you could give me some Bible verses to read that would help so much.

Brother Nkosinathi Matake